Do You Have 10 Seconds of Courage?

Profile Picture of Post's Author Stephanie Jens | Posted May 8, 2023

If your business involves people, at some point in time you are going to need to have a tough conversation with a teammate. These conversations can be hard, sometimes really hard. I know several people that don’t really enjoy tough conversations, and yet, they are an extremely important part of leading a successful team. If you are an individual that doesn’t mind these tough conversations, are you delivering them in a manner that is easy for the other party to receive?

Why might a courageous conversation be needed in the first place? Perhaps one of your team members is not performing up to standards or there are specific behavioral actions that are not aligned with expectations. Let’s walk through some steps to make your next conversation not only easier, but more effective as well.

Set the stage: Be clear about what you hope to accomplish in the conversation right from the start. Make sure they understand that you are there to help them improve and overcome the challenge.

Don’t make it personal: Try to separate the person from the action and define the action that needs improvement. Do they understand how their action impacts others on the team? When we focus on the action that needs to be changed, we give the person an opportunity to improve and grow.

Ask Permission: Some individuals really like receiving feedback, but others may have a harder time receiving it. Asking permission is a simple step that can prepare anyone to get into the right mindset to receive feedback.

Be specific: Providing examples, not only of the action that does not meet expectations, but of actions that would meet expectations. This is your chance to make sure they clearly understand what is expected of them. We can’t ask our team to meet expectations unless we have clearly laid out what those expectations are.

Don’t forget to listen: There is a reason we have two ears and only one mouth. Take the time to hear from the other party. Their concerns, feedback, and commitment to moving forward are all important parts of these conversations.

Move forward: Address the action, but make sure to bring the conversation to a close with a discussion on moving forward. Perhaps offering to check back in with them in a week to see if the action or behavior has improved, and to provide some feedback and encouragement.

Although these conversations are never fun, having them as soon as the problem is identified will help to prevent it from having a larger impact on the team. Left ignored, the actions or behaviors from one person can spread into a much bigger problem that may impact team culture and become much more difficult to solve. Next time, we will dig into how courageous conversations can help with team conflict.

In my family we often challenge each other to have “10 seconds of courage” when we are nervous about trying something hard or new. So, the next time you think of ignoring the problem or having the conversation later, I encourage you to have “10 seconds of courage” to start the conversation.  Your team and business will thank you!

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